Ulquinyah!
by kikuuu
Summary: Ulquiorra shifted slightly on the couch "It figures, you do stink of cat after all". Grimmjow grinned widely "Correction Ulqui! I stink of male cat." -Chapter 2
1. Chapter 1

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Don't read if you want some serious fic.

I'm the only one to have proof read this... but if my bad spelling and grammar really bother you, you can always correct me and I'll amend it... just for you!

I'm going to hell for this...

-Kiku

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Ulqui-nyah!  
Chapter 1

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Ulquiorra was stunned to say the least. When Aizen had told him he had a special project for him, he by no means thought this.

Standing before him was a girl with long orange hair held off her face with flower clips. She wore an arrancar style uniform... but it didn't leave much to the imagination. It was a white, sleeveless and strapless top. Very low cut and ended just before the curves at her waist. It was opened a few inches thick at the front bar one small strap fastened under her ample bust seemingly holding the top together. He tried not to stare too much at her cleavage...

Just below her belly button sat the waist of her skirt. At the front it barely reached her knees, but the length at the back fell to her ankles, her feet were bare. The whole outfit was of course trimmed in black.

It wasn't the fact that there was a girl standing in front of him that shocked him. It was the fact that the girl standing in front of him... had cat ears and a tail, both were as orange as her hair. She was holding a note in her mouth and scratching at the fabric of her clothes looking annoyed.

He assumed the note was for him. Ulquiorra reached his hand out to grab it. The cat girl eyed him and backed off.

"I do believe you have something of mine cat." he spoke as he roughly snatched it from her mouth. She whimpered.

Ulquiorra opened the note and read;

"Hey Ulqui!" he shivered at the nickname. "So Szayel in all his wisdom, decided he'd clone a cat for the lolz... turns out he mixed up the DNA... blah blah blah, science happened and now we have a cat girl. She's only two days old, pretty much human but she can't speak just yet. So yeah... your special mission is to look after Los Noches newest family member. Make sure no one hurts her! Teach her well Ulqui-sensei! Lots of love and kisses – Daddy Aizen... ps her name is Orihime!"

He took a moment to reread the note before looking ahead of him to face the girl... but she wasn't there. It's was only when he heard the whimpers did he realize she was curled up on the floor... crying.

Ulquiorra stared for a moment, confused. "Why are you crying cat?" she of course didn't reply. Just lay there rubbing her eyes with her hands... it was almost... cute.

Kneeling down beside her he pointed to the note "Do you want this back?". Her head shot up looking at the paper, smiling widely "Nya nya!!!" she reached for it.

He pulled it back, held it over his head and asked "Why would you want a silly scrap of paper cat?". She hissed at being teased and pounced him. Ulquiorra wasn't expecting it and was thrown backwards.

They landed on the ground. Ulquiorra on his back his hands above his head, one barely holding onto the note. Orihime was straddling his chest, her breasts firmly pressed against his face as she reached for the note. They were so soft...

"Nyah! Nya nyah nyaaa" She exclaimed happily as she removed it from his grip. Ulquiorra gasped for air as Orihime sat up. She placed the paper back into her grinning mouth. "Nyah!" She mewed happily.

Ulquiorra looked up... past her breasts, to her face. "What an odd creature you are..." he mused. Placing his hands around her waist he lifted her up off him placing her to the side.

Standing he brushed the non-existent dust from his uniform. Orihime had rose too and was staring at him. Her mouth fell wide open, dropping the note.

"W-what is it cat?" her stare was unnerving him. She began jumping up and down her arms in the air. Oh how he wished she wouldn't jump... certain things looked very pleasing when jiggled, but she continued.

"What is it you want now cat?" He questioned. Orihime stopped, paused for a moment, then taking both of his hands she placed them on her waist and jumped up one more time.

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow "You want me to lift you up again...?". She nodded her head and jumped again, "Nyah nyaaah!".

What a simple minded creature, he thought. Placing one arm around her waist and leaning down to place the other behind her knees he picked her up holding her bridal style.

Orihime's mouth fell open once more and she was still. Suddenly two arm wrapped around Ulquiorra neck and something hot and wet started to attack his face. She was... licking him, nyah-ing happily between licks.

"Hey now!" his voice was harsh, "Stop that!". Orihime froze and lowered her head looking hurt. She whimpered again.

Ulquiorra instantly felt bad, "I... ugh... didn't mean to yell at you." he mumbled. Orhime raised her head slightly eyeing up his expression before smiling and planting one last lick on the tip of his nose.

He sighed... what on earth was he going to do with this cat?. Carrying her over to his couch he sat her down on one side then sat at the other end.

Orihime nyah-ed unhappily at having been put down and quickly crawled over to Ulquiorra placing herself sitting in his lap. She mewed happily and licked his cheek before resting her head on his chest and closing her eyes.

Ulquiorra's eye twitched. What on earth had he gotten himself into...

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In my defence... I wrote it for the lolz...

Besides my Internet had died... I had nothing better to do ¬.¬;  
(Apart from study Spanish... but pfft.)

-Kiku

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	2. Chapter 2

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Lolz, I'm surprised this plot interests people. The fic -should- be named 'Ulqui-nyah!', but I'm a tard and now I can't change it ;.;

-Kiku

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Ulqui-nyah!  
Chapter 2

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Ulquiorra sighed. He'd been sitting for nearly an hour while the cat slept peacefully in his lap. Why didn't he just kick her off?

Suddenly with a loud bang, the door to Ulquiorra's room was kicked open. The noise had caused Orihime to hiss loudly, she threw her arms around Ulquiorra, clinging to him tightly. Her eyes scanned the room.

"Ne! Ulqui! We're here to play with the kitty." Grimmjow's voice boomed as he stepped into the room, closely followed by Nnoitra grinning widely.

Ulquiorra merely glanced in their deriction. "Get out, and do not call me Ulqui." he spoke, the slightest hint of boredom in his voice.

Nnoita snickered, "No fair Ulqui, how come Aizen gives you the pretty kitty to look after and not me?".

"I said do not call me Ulqui and It's pretty obvious. My orders are to keep her from harm... I'm sure when he needs something molested he'll entrust it to you." Ulquiorra's mouth twitched, amused at his own comment. Nnoitra was about to protest.

"Did your orders include sitting her in your lap?". Grimmjow cut in as he walked closer to Orihime. She eyed him. "Here Hime-kitty, kitty, kitty~ come play with uncle Grimmy~." he bent down to her eye level.

Orihime's grip on Ulquiorra lightened and the glare on her face slowly disappeared. She sniffed the air. "Nyah?" her head tilted to the side as she looked at Grimmjow.

She slowly removed herself from Ulquiorra's lap, his eyes followed her. Setting her feet on the ground she took a few steps towards Grimmjow sniffing the air again questioningly.

Her face suddenly looked shocked, "NYAH!!!" She exclaimed before throwing herself at him. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she rubbed her cheek to his smiling and mewing happily.

The fainted blush crossed Grimmjow's face and his mouth fell open in shock, Nnoita's followed suit.

Ulquiorra shifted slightly on the couch "It figures, you do stink of cat after all."

Grimmjow grinned widely, "Correction Ulqui! I stink of _male_ cat." Ulquiorra's small grin faltered.

Nnoitra creeped up beside the two "I want some kitty loving too!" He yelled throwing himself at Orihime's form. He was stopped mid-air, Orihime's foot in his face.

Grimmjow's laughed "DENIED!"

Nnoita slowly fell to the floor passing out with a huge grin on his face he mumbled, "Pantie... shot...". Ulquiorra made a mental note to remove Nnoita's eyeballs.

Orihime's leg dropped and she resumed rubbing her cheek to Grimmjow's. He wrapped an arm round her waist and lifted her up. "Come Hime-kitty, lets go have a cat fight~".

Her smile fell and she instantly began hissing and reaching for Ulquiorra. "Ul-Ulqu-Ulqui-nyah!" she cried.

Within a second Ulquiorra once again held Orihime bridal style. His foot firmly pressing Grimmjow's face to the floor where he now lay beside Nnoita.

Ulquiorra looked almost annoyed as he spoke, "My name is is not Ulqui. Cat". He sat Orihime down beside him and leaned down to grab both Nnoita and Grimmjow by the scruff of their uniforms, effortlessly dragging them to the door and threw them outside.

Closing the door and locking it behind him he looked at Orihime, "My name is Ulquiorra".

"Ulqui-nyah!" Orihime jumped up and down, "Ulqui-Ulqui-Ulqui-nyah!".

Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed slightly as he plotted Grimmjow and Nnoita's death.

"Ulquiorra..."

"Ulqui-nyah!"

"Ulquiorra".

"Ulqui-nyah!!!"

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Pantie-shot XP

I totally think that scene would make for some funneh fanart. If only I could draw ;.;

Next time, Orihime will learn her name and it's bed timez! Yayz, I'll totally write it tomorrow or tonight.

-Kiku

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End file.
